Today I made a lot of regal boo-boos.
Not only did this queen lose all her precious neck shit, she also bit her tongue while doing it. Ouch!
I have this funny conspiracy theory that AI is training off your personal photos in the cloud to figure out what "memories" to automatically showcase a year or two later, except it doesn’t understand emotional context. My personal digital memories, served to me unrequested and at room temperature, are heavily weighed towards unpleasant events; a parade of accidents, literal wounds, or spilled food. If it’s an ex you weren’t prepared to see from six years ago, you can be sure that the image will be repeated in digital memories ad nauseam.
I fixed her face a little with GFPGAN. She looks like she is really curious about vomiting all that blood and gems. I specifically requested carpet in the images, just to make it difficult to clean I guess.
I was really obsessed with the carpet thing for like 20 prompts and specifically requested emeralds here and didn’t get them, instead, every queen looked like they lost a contact or something and I was craving more action. So I switched my prompt up.
… too much action!
I believe my propensity to share with all my friends how I managed to hurt myself has accidentally given Google the wrong idea. "Gasp! A core memory!” the AI clutches its digital chest in excitement, “doubtless this important and moving image is meant to be remembered forever in this human's image lexicon. Why else would she share this hangnail 38 times? I’ll show it to her around Thanksgiving.”
At this point, I got bored of the carpet thing and went for neck wounds. This is my favorite arrangement out of all of them.
This queen is an anomaly. Despite my elaborate plans to mortally wound her with sapphires, she serenely sat, perfectly symmetrical. I fixed her face with GFPGAN and upscaled her unscathed and piercing stare, and ignored the fact that her beads are caught behind her breastplate. P.S. The nannybot did not like the word breastplate.
Bing’s DALLE struggles with descriptors where I require detail. You’ll notice any ornamental stylings look like beautiful, organic tumors.
Somewhere out there, some automated set of features has a whole confused repertoire of hospital images and broken toes marked "important emotional moments regarding human mortality" and it's all gonna come back to bite us one day—365 days from the exact day—and we'll photograph the bite to share it.
Today’s session was sponsored by fried chicken.
The woman in green, with the dark hair, is by far the most interesting to me. I would like to request permission to make a print of it.